Shades of Gray
by The Firefaery
Summary: Sequel to Black & White The Wars have ended, and four of the Pilots are hiding out on L4. The final one, Wu Fei, shows up in bad shape. Emotions arise from the past, and three Pilots futures are put on the line as they try to handle a new relationship.
1. Part One

Shades of Gray  
  
Part One  
  
By: The Firefaery  
  
NC-17: Sexual situations  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing  
  
****  
  
The Eve Wars are over and I don't know what to do with myself. Our Gundams sleep soundly in a bunker under a Winner mansion somewhere, the location isn't precise. I'm not sure I want to know. Deathscythe is gone, and I wish I could believe it's going to be that way forever. That machine meant, and still means, a lot to me, but it also haunts my dreams, a looming phantom I pilot as Shinigami. Something I used to kill. It did its job, terrified and terminated Oz soldiers, men who purposely hurt innocent bystanders.  
  
Now all of our metal Titans will hopefully sleep forever.  
  
Deathscythe isn't the only thing I hope stays asleep forever. My alter-ego, Shinigami, seems to have all but disappeared. For the moment, at least. Sometimes, I feel it stirring, in times when I'm feeling uneasy or I'm in unfamiliar territory. The old "Battle Mode" trying to kick in again, I guess. I just want to be a normal kid again. Well, I guess I can't say "again". Growing up on the streets of L-2 really isn't the way to raise a "normal" kid.  
  
"Hey, are you coming inside?" a rough voice interrupts my melancholy thoughts and I turn, grinning.  
  
"Yeah, just thinking," I explain, standing up to start walking back inside with Heero Yuy, my lover. Isn't that a great thing to say? My lover! I laugh softly as we step inside a lit up doorway, the one leading down from the roof where I'd been sitting. Me and Heero are holed up, so to speak, in a snazzy apartment on L-4. Quatre's big company, Winner Corp., is right down the street. He and Trowa live together, too, just like me and Heero.  
  
I say holed up, though, because we basically are at the moment. The war has been over for eight months now, but that doesn't mean the media has, for one second, forgotten about the group of soldiers, slash teenagers, who brought about the peace. They've been hounding us all since the day after the final battle, it seems. Bunch of damn vultures.  
  
After escaping the frenzy down on Earth for the slightly more peaceful Colonies, the four of us, Trowa, Quatre, Heero, and I all settled on L-4 for a while. None of us are broke, not with all the hacking we did, but sometimes I feel completely useless. I've considered looking up Hilde on L-2 and seeing about that salvage business she was talking about, but I haven't talked to Heero about it. The four of us are doing all right at the moment. We aren't too sure where Wu Fei has disappeared to, none of us have heard from him almost since the last day of the War. I don't know how he managed to avoid the media frenzy. Turning my mind away from those thoughts carefully, I sprawl across the sofa in our living once we reach the apartment.  
  
Looking over at Heero, I watch as he lazily stretches and sits down in the leather recliner. Seeing his muscles flex, his back arch, I'm reminded of times when he does those things, but not to stretch.  
  
"What?" he asks, meeting my lustful gaze with a questioning one. Grunting, I shift carefully, trying to adjust the sudden tightness in my sweats.  
  
"Can't help looking at you, is all," I whisper lowly, giving him a slow, sensual smile. His easy return smile barely lifts his mouth, but his eyes give me all the response I need. Heero will always be described in my mind as owning bedroom hair and bedroom eyes. Standing back up, he walks towards me, that smile growing larger and those eyes darkening to a deep blue with his emotions. I shiver, waiting for him to come to me. He stops barely an inch away from my bent knees, looking down at me.  
  
"I seem to have a similar problem with you," the love of my life admits, leaning down and placing a hand on either side of my head, his arms trapping me in; or they would, if I weren't willing. Which I always am. Our noses almost touch and I can feel his breath against my lips, teasing me. I shift again, uncomfortably aware of what Heero can do to me without even touching me.  
  
"Do you think there's anything we can do about our.preoccupation?" My voice is thick and heavy, my entire body hot. And all he'd done was stretch!  
  
Rubbing his nose against mine, he grins. "We could always distract ourselves with something else," the tease suggests, leaning forward to brush his lips against my mouth. Groaning, I finally move my arms, wrapping one around his waist and using the other to cup the back of his head and crush us into a heavy kiss.  
  
Soon he's straddling my lap, one hand running up my shirt, the other tangled in my hair. With his weight pressing me into the cushions and his mouth stealing my breath, I never want to move. I nip his bottom lip and hear his own groan, my hands doing some roaming of their own.  
  
Panting, we break apart, hurriedly yanking off our shirts. I feel him loosen the tie on the end of my braid and hear another groan as he brings a handful of hair to his nose and buries his face in it. Hands trail up my arms, then down the planes of my chest. Heero's mouth follows, his tongue flicking over a nipple playfully, making me gasp. I can feel his smile against my skin. Suddenly, he stands up and stares down at me, a hand outstretched.  
  
"Let's move this somewhere else, ne?" Those eyes, god, those eyes! Man, I can hear my heart in my head, pounding madly. It isn't like we're new at this or anything, but sex with Heero is like.really good sex!  
  
I grab his hand and start dragging him to our room, laughing lowly and grinning like an idiot. Duo Maxwell: Fool in love. We're almost to our room, I can feel the heat his body against my bare back. A callused hand wraps around my waist, pressing me into his smooth chest; teeth nip at my shoulder as we stumble down the hall.  
  
The door bell rang.  
  
"Fuck!" I growl. The two of us pause for a moment, hoping whoever it is will get the hint and split. As the damn bell rings again, I realize we've got no such luck. Turning, I kiss Heero full on, pushing him against the wall next to us. "I guess we'll finish this later?" He grunts, nodding, his face reflecting my own frustration. "This had better be good!"  
  
I stomp back through the apartment, not bothering with a shirt. They ring again just before I get to the door, and I feel myself getting royally pissed off.  
  
Yanking the door open, I bark into the face of whoever the hell it is. "What!"  
  
A slightly dazed Wu Fei blinks back at me. He sways for a moment and has to put his hand to the door frame to steady himself. I can only stare at him in shock. He looks like shit. His face is pale and drawn, dark circles under his blood-shot eyes like he hasn't been sleeping, mussed clothes. I sniff at the air, and correct myself.  
  
"Have you been drinking?!" Dark eyes blink at me again, and the Chinese ex- Pilot gives me a sloppy grin.  
  
"Hey Duo." Then he promptly passes out at my feet. Shit.  
  
"Heero! We've got company!"  
  
****  
  
Altron's Pilot is snoring loudly on our sofa, an arm thrown over his eyes as he sleeps off his binge. Why Chang Wu Fei would have gone on a binder is beyond even me. Running a hand through my hair, I walk into the kitchen where Duo is talking quietly on the phone to Quatre.  
  
"No, he just showed up," he explains to the worried blonde figure on the screen. Quatre sighs and shakes his head, as I walk up behind Duo, peering over his shoulder at our comrade.  
  
"We don't hear from him for months, no idea where he's gotten to, and then he shows up at your apartment, drunk!" the poor guy exclaims, running a hand through his own hair. We're all frustrated and confused, not to mention a little worried. A silent Trowa is seen for a moment in the background. "Not to mention you and Heero's flat is supposed to be a secret!" That got me. I hadn't realized that fact until now, but it was true. Wu Fei must have been purposely looking for us, to somehow find our current and unknown address.  
  
Duo sighs as well. "I know, Q-man, but he's sleeping off whatever he drank now." We both glance back towards the living room. "We'll have to wait for him to wake up before we can get some answers."  
  
"I wonder what drove him to drink like that," I begin, one hand casually creeping around Duo's waist. "Wu Fei never struck me as the type to drown his sorrows in alcohol." All three of us are thoughtful now, trying to imagine what Wu Fei could have been feeling when he filled himself with such a weakness.  
  
"We'll get back to you once he wakes up, Q-man," Duo finally says, cutting the connection once Quatre nods. He leans back into me, his hair once again in his waist-long braid, both of our shirts back in place. "I'm really worried about Fei, Heero. He disappears right after the Wars end, we don't hear from him, no word whatsoever, then he pops up on our doorstep, drunk as a skunk!" He turns to me, violet eyes full of frustration. "What the hell is going on?!"  
  
"I don't know, Duo, we'll just have to find out once he wakes up." It's all I can offer him, and he knows it. So we go into the other room to sit and wait, Duo on the arm of the recliner next to me.  
  
****  
  
(Three Hours Later)  
  
Groaning, I shift around, trying unsuccessfully to block out the light trying to fry my brain. Blinking as I realize I don't know where I am, I lift my arm away from my eyes to look around, not recognizing anything in the neat living room I'm apparently in.  
  
"So.you're awake." That voice! My eyes snap to the chair across the room, nearly crossing as they take in the sight of Heero Yuy sitting casually with his arms crossed, a sleeping Duo Maxwell leaning against his shoulder.  
  
"Heero? What." I don't remember how I got here, but I do remember wandering into a random club somewhere on L-4, an innocuous little slip of paper tucked carefully into my jacket pocket. The slip of paper that has Pilot 01 and Pilot 02's address on it. And I remember sitting down at the bar, ordering a drink, and then it all goes foggy from there.  
  
God, I must have had quite a few after that to feel like this. Not that it was an unfamiliar feeling, of late. Hangover's are my morning companion more often then not. It's the only way I can get to sleep at night, these days. I dream of the past, mostly, and sometimes of a vision I know is forever out of my reach. Even though he's sleeping across the room from me now.  
  
I'd spent the months after the Eve Wars trying to get some sense of self, trying to piece together what made me Chang Wu Fei in this sudden time of peace. The word bit into me, stinging harshly. Peace; what was that? I'd finally managed to convince myself to rejoin the other Pilots, find out what they'd been up to since that day over eight months ago. I tracked down their addresses, though it was somewhat difficult. I could only assume Heero had something to do with that. But actually going to L-4 and talking with them again, seeing *him* again, was something I had a lot of difficulties with.  
  
About six months before the end of the Wars, Duo Maxwell, Pilot 02 of the Gundam Deathscythe, had nearly died. On a routine OZ base elimination job, he'd taken a bad hit in the gut, and it almost got him. He was down for over a month, unconscious, and it took him two more to fully recover. It hit me very hard, watching him hover on the brink of death for days, weeks.  
  
I'd known I felt something other than friendship towards the exuberant Baka for a few months, but tried to tell myself it wasn't viable to pursue him at that point. I finally realized I'd managed too well, when he almost died without him ever knowing how I felt about him. I had almost worked up the courage to admit it all, the day he woke up, when I walked in on Heero Yuy confessing similar feelings, and having them returned. As they kissed for the first time, something inside me curled up and quietly cried.  
  
Duo loved Heero, and Heero loved Duo. End of story, so they say. But for me, it wasn't. I loved Duo, too. Still love him. I spent the rest of the Wars developing a steady drinking habit, and after they ended, turned it into a dangerous one. At every turn, they were there together, holding hands, exchanging caresses that only lovers shared. Which when I thought about The Perfect Soldier holding hands with anybody, let alone another guy, it struck me even harder. And Trowa and Quatre with their own relationship didn't help matters. Sally Po, the only non-Pilot companion I had, and the only female, finally drug the problem out of me, but couldn't really give me any advice that was helpful.  
  
Forgetting about him and letting go wasn't really an option for me. Still isn't.  
  
"We haven't heard from you in eight months, Wu Fei," Heero murmurs, breaking into my thoughts. I tried hating him, believe me, but it wasn't possible. He hadn't done anything wrong, had only fallen for the same thing I found so amazing; one Duo Maxwell. How could I blame him without blaming myself?  
  
"I am aware of that fact, Heero," I whisper back, my voice slightly harsh, the foul taste of bile in my mouth. I haven't thrown up yet from a hangover, but I'd really hate to do so now, in Duo's home. 'Duo and Heero's home,' I correct myself sadly.  
  
"Good." I look back at him, meeting those piercing eyes of his, half surprised when no lecture follows. He shifts, being careful not to wake the figure still sleeping next to him. I feel a moment of envy, wishing for his place. Roughly stamping down on those thoughts, I break eye contact.  
  
Sitting up slowly, I try not to jar my head. "Talked to Quatre?" He nods, confirming my guess that one of them would have contacted the other Pilots. "Mind if I use your shower?" I can smell the alcohol on me, so I know I must reek pretty badly.  
  
"Down the hall, the second door," he replies, motioning with his head. "Towels are under the sink, grab something from the closet when you're done. Last door." Falling silent again, he returns to gazing at me steadily. I grunt and stand up, making my way slowly across the room to the hallway. Glancing over my shoulder, I watch as he gently shakes Duo. Not wanting to confront the other man just yet, I hurry to the bathroom. Their bathroom.  
  
'Stop it, Chang. Keep this up, and you'll be down at the bar again before morning.' It's past midnight, I see, catching a glimpse of the face of a clock hanging on the wall. I step into the dark bathroom and flip on the light, feeling cold tile on my bare feet. I realize someone took my shoes and socks off, and my jacket. Briefly, I wonder if it was Duo or Heero.  
  
Turning on the water in the shower, I strip off my grimy clothes, leaving them in a pile by the toilet. I take the band out of my lank hair and let it hit my shoulders. A view of my haggard appearance in the mirror makes me wince. I've lost weight, and my eyes are red from lack of sleep and too much drinking. I can't begin to imagine what the two in the other room's impression of me is. I set a towel on the closed lid of the toilet and step into the spray.  
  
The water is too hot, but I don't care as I let it wash over me. I grab a random bottle of shampoo and scrub it into my scalp, trying to clean away the feelings as well.  
  
"Why am I here?" I whisper, the sound of water running the only thing that replies. A bar of soap is passed over my body, washing away the smell but not the reason I'd gotten this way in the first place. Chang Wu Fei, the Solitary Dragon. Meant to stay that way, I imagine.  
  
When I'm done, I reach around the curtain and grab the towel, drying my dark hair viciously, then the rest of me. I wrap it around my waist securely, then step out. The tiles are still cold. Reaching down, I pick up my discarded clothing and open the door, steam pouring out into the hallway. I pad quickly down the hallway, coming to the last doorway. Opening it, I step into their bedroom and make my way to the dresser first. A dark pair of boxers is slipped on under the towel, then I turn to the closet.  
  
I choose a pair of loose gray pants and a white tank top, sliding them onto my damp skin. The tank top clings slightly as I walk out of the room, never once glancing at the bed. I head back to the bathroom and grab a handy comb, pulling it through my tangled locks. My tight ponytail is back in place as I turn off the light and prepare to head back into to talk to the two of them. I can hear the low sound of voices from down the hall.  
  
"I'll see if he wants to stay here for the night, okay?" I hear, and freeze slightly at the sound of Duo's voice. Damn, I didn't realize he'd ask me that, but I should have guessed. Duo will never be accused of not caring about his friends.  
  
"I have a hotel room down town," I call quietly from behind the chair they're still sitting in. Duo turns quickly to look at me.  
  
"Hey, Fei, long time no see," he says quietly, his eyes taking in the clothes and my damp hair. I grunt in reply and walk over to sit down on the couch.  
  
They look at each other, then look at me. I'm hoping they'll get this over with quickly so I can leave. Even sitting casually next to each other, Duo's right arm is around Heero's shoulder, Heero's left arm around the braided one's waist. They fit together so easily, and I am left on the outside looking in.  
  
"You had us really worried, Fei. I mean, ya kinda just dropped off the face of the Earth after the Wars," Duo begins finally, left hand gripping the end of his braid; not a positive sign.  
  
"I am.sorry," I manage, finding the white wall above their heads suddenly very interesting. I can't bring myself to actually meet those violet eyes.  
  
"Are you all right, Wu Fei? I mean, you show up drunk off your ass, and then ya pass out at my feet," he adds, studying me closely. I feel a blush creep onto my cheeks; I'd passed out at his feet?  
  
'God, what must he think of me?' I'm not sure I want to know.  
  
"I'm fine now, Duo. I am sorry if I worried you, I must have had more to drink then I intended." It was a weak attempt to explain myself, and I can feel his eyes boring into me. The amount of will power it's taking to keep myself sitting here, facing them, is more than I'll ever admit to.  
  
"Wu Fei, Duo and I would like you to stay with us, if just for tonight. You can go back to your hotel tomorrow," Heero cuts in for the first time. I open my mouth to make an immediate protest, but he holds up his hand to stop me. "We will take it as a grave insult if you do not accept." The bastard knows it will get me, and it does. I glare at him, trying to tell him without words how this will torture me, even for one night. It's obvious he doesn't receive the message as he stares unblinkingly at me.  
  
"Fine. I will stay for the night, but tomorrow I will return to my own arrangements." Duo grins at me, and I feel myself melt a little. Maybe this won't be so bad.  
  
"Great! You can stay in the guest room, we never get a reason to use it," the excitable young man starts, hopping off the chair and coming over to grab my hand. I'm frozen, not sure what to do as he drags me back down the hall to the first door. "Here, this is your room for the night. The bed's made already, so ya can hit the sack right away if ya want." His voice is hopeful, and I know he wants to stay up and talk.  
  
"You where expecting me to stay the moment I came in, weren't you?" I murmur, looking at him in the dim light. He grins suddenly.  
  
"Well, yeah. Why not?" His cocky tone makes me smile. There's no reply to that, so I don't try to form one.  
  
"Thank you," I say, my voice so soft I can barely hear it. The grin on his face softens to a knowing smile, and he places a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it. And you can stay with us as long as ya want. Ya didn't have to go to a hotel," he adds, the hand tightening slightly. I shrug slightly, and he removes it, reluctantly almost.  
  
Sighing, I turn to head back towards the kitchen. "Do you have tea in this place?" Laughing, he leads me back to through the apartment, the split- second moment of tenseness broken.  
  
"I think we can come up with something for ya, Fei."  
  
****  
  
Bright light hitting me in the eyes wakes me in the morning. I'd forgotten to close the blinds last night, and now I was paying for it. Groaning, I lift my head up and look over Heero's silent form to the clock on the nightstand. It blinks at me calmly, showing me it's the god-awful hour of seven in the a.m. I turn away from that glaring reality and place a pillow over my head, trying to go back to sleep.  
  
The three of us had stayed up till three the night before, talking, remembering. Wu Fei had been vague about his activities since the Wars, and we hadn't pressed. I didn't know what was up with him, but the sight of him, so pale and weighing less than he ever had during the Eve Wars, worried me a lot. That, and him coming in smelling like a brewery.  
  
Wu Fei and I had been somewhat close during the Wars, the mission where we'd been trapped in an air tight room by Oz having brought some understanding between us. The Chinese Pilot, I had realized, didn't speak often, but when he did, it was often after deep thought and contemplation. His was a logical, intent mind. I admired him, respected him, and cared a lot about him. I still do. Sometimes I think I care for him too much, and I have to remember all the good things I've found with Heero since the months I was injured and recovering just before the end of the Wars.  
  
That toned body, the bronze skin, and those dark eyes that looked black from a distance, but were really a deep soulful brown. Grunting, I burrow deeper under my pillow. I'm not supposed to be thinking these things about Wu Fei, not with my lover sleeping next to me. But I do, and have since I met the stoic and scholarly Pilot 05. It doesn't mean I'm happy about it. I'd never pursued him, never made any overt moves with Wu Fei. I'd always set my sights on Heero, never thinking that Wu Fei, with his dead child-wife and his mourning whites, would be even remotely open to my advances.  
  
Of course, it wasn't like Heero had ever been, at least at first. It took me almost dying to make us both admit what we felt for each other. I sometimes secretly wonder what would have happened if Wu Fei were the one to confess his love for me. It's a useless thought now, but I can't help it.  
  
I love Heero, I know this, but I feel.something.for Wu Fei as well. Quatre has mentioned Wu Fei's reaction to my illness to me, and it shocks me every time. He stayed with me constantly during the day, while Heero stood vigil over my nights.  
  
I'm not unhappy or even unsatisfied living with the tousle-haired man next to me, and sharing his bed. But when I'm alone, I think about sharing those same things with another man. A black haired, dark eyed, Solitary Dragon.  
  
I finally admit I'm not getting back to sleep, and slip out of bed. Wearing nothing but boxers, I pad into the kitchen and start a pot of coffee. Might as well wake up fully. Caffeine is my friend. No matter how much the other ex-Pilots protest about my intake. I've learned to control my hyper tendencies after consuming a few cups. Or at least that's what I try to tell myself. 'Insert evil grin,' I mentally joke, not awake enough to actually do it.  
  
The rich smell of brewing coffee fills the small kitchen as I flop into a chair, laying my head on the table. My braid touches the floor as the cool wood presses into my forehead. The sound of feet shuffling into the room behind me almost makes me turn, but I resist the urge. Did I mention I'm not awake yet?  
  
"Trouble sleeping?" The voice isn't the one I'm expecting, and I do turn to look at a sleepy Wu Fei. I nod, my eyes taking longer than necessary to blink. "Coffee smells good.Heero actually lets you drink it?" he jokes slightly, giving a jaw-popping yawn afterwards. I glare at him, stifling my answering yawn.  
  
"Don't do that. You'll make me fall asleep again," I mutter, rubbing a hand over my face. There's enough in the pot for two cups, and I get up to pour both of us one. He nods his thanks as I hand him a mug. "Did I wake you up?"  
  
"Not really. I usually wake this early to do a few katas." He smiles slightly at my disgusted look. "You should try it. It's good to see the sun rise."  
  
"We're on a colony, Fei, there are no sunrises," I point out, grinning as I sit back down, glorious caffeine goodness clutched in my hands. Taking a sip, I sigh, already feeling more awake.  
  
He blinks, looking out the window of our tiny kitchen. "I had forgotten. I've been on Earth for too long, I imagine." Falling silent again, he takes a drink from his cup and makes a face. "How much coffee did you use?"  
  
"Hey, ya know I like it strong. It's the only way I can stay awake this early." As though to prove my point, I give a yawn. He smiles slightly.  
  
"If you fall asleep at the table, I'm going to leave you there," he murmurs, taking another sip of his coffee. I give him a half-hearted glare.  
  
"Gee, thanks Wu-man." When he doesn't even react to the old annoying nickname, I feel another twinge of worry. Back during the War, he'd always barked at me whenever I'd used it. 'Maxwell! It's Wu Fei, not Wu-man, or Wu- bear, or anything else! Get it right!' His Clan katana would usually make an appearance as well, giving threat to my lovely braid. I could only assume the katana was back at his hotel, because I couldn't imagine Wu Fei travelling without it. He looked so pale and thin sitting across the kitchen table from me. What had happened during those mysterious eight months to change him so much?  
  
"Do you have plans for today? Heero and I were going to have lunch with Trowa and Q-man; you should definitely come. Quatre will never forgive you if you don't." That at least gets a reaction, a rueful half-smile.  
  
As he takes another sip and sets his cup down, he shrugs. "I might as well, otherwise he'll hunt me down and make me come anyway." I grin.  
  
"Ah, I see you've met him before." He only rolls those dark eyes at me. Grinning, I punch his shoulder lightly. "Ya know, when he hears you're staying in a hotel, you'll go to sleep one night and wake up in the nearest Winner mansion the next morning, courtesy of Rashid. You might as well just stay with us. Or ya risk Quatre mothering you like a hen with chicks," I warn, smirking at his almost horrified expression. He was kind of cute in the morning. 'Shut up, Maxwell.'  
  
"I hadn't thought of that. You're right, though. Damn." He groans and finishes off his cup of coffee, taking it to the sink and rinsing it out. Ah, if only Heero could see. Actually, probably good thing he couldn't, 'cause then he'd be on me about rinsing my dishes. He hated scrubbing coffee cups. I gulped the rest of mine down and stood up, stepping up behind him as the water ran in the sink. Swinging a casual arm around his neck, I turned to give him a cheeky grin.  
  
"You wouldn't mind rinsing mine, too, would ya, buddy?" I paused as I felt him stiffen underneath my arm. He tilted his head back to look at me, our noses inches away. The tiny kitchen suddenly seemed to shrink even more as we stood there, clothed in very little, and our.lips.almost close enough to kiss. Those clear, brown eyes were locked with mine, then he blinked and stepped away from me, shrugging off my arm like he had my hand in the hall last night.  
  
Clearing his throat, he looked away. "I think I'm going to go get some fresh air on the balcony." Without saying anything else, he walked past me and out of the kitchen. A second later I heard the click and swish of the sliding glass door leading to the balcony, and another click as he closed it behind him. I was left with a feeling that I'd missed something, something important. I just didn't know what it was.  
  
****  
  
I slumped against the white wall of the hallway, watching from the shadows as Wu Fei walked stiffly across our living room and out onto the balcony. Running a frustrated hand through my hair, I sighed and shook my head. Something was going on with Wu Fei, something that was connected to Duo.  
  
Since our first encounter, I had learned respect and admiration for the Solitary Dragon. His sense of honor was something I would have liked to instill in myself, and his dedication to his idea of justice was admirable as well. There was something about him that drew me. He was a true warrior, and a comrade in the arms that I was glad to have at my back or at my side.  
  
There was just something that I couldn't seem to grasp, something that involved him and Duo. I recalled the time over a year ago when Duo had been wounded on a routine OZ mission and had nearly died. My reaction had been bad, although not so noticeable because it was before the shell of the Perfect Soldier had cracked. Wu Fei's, however, had been very noticeable. When Duo had first been brought in, I can clearly remember Wu Fei rushing out of the room to be noisily sick in the front bushes. And while I had claimed the nights as my time of vigil, Wu Fei had watched during the day.  
  
It seemed strange that I had never noticed this before, but I wrote it off as simply being too engrossed in my own shock and the growing realization that I was in love with Duo. I had a strange but also growing suspicion that perhaps the similarly stoic Wu Fei held some feelings for my lover. Possibly even loved him as well. And I couldn't put the doubt beside that perhaps Duo felt the same way.  
  
The only problem was, what was I going to do about it?  
  
I knew beyond any doubt at all that Duo loved me, and knew I loved him as well. The time we'd been together up to this point had been far from perfect, we'd had our share of differences. When Lady Une had offered us positions in her new venture, a section of the developing government called the Preventors, I'd been more than willing to sign up. Peace left an unsettling feeling in me. I wasn't called the Perfect Soldier for nothing. And Relena had also offered a position as her bodyguard. I often wondered if she realized that Duo and I were more than best friends and flatmates.  
  
But that aside, Duo had refused the offer to join the Preventors, and I had felt obligated to decline as well. It was a point of heated discussion between the two of us after the end of the Wars. We'd finally agreed to lay low for a while on L-4 and escape the media hounds, and were currently living comfortably off our hacked finances. I knew, however, that we both felt useless and out of place, doing nothing other than reminiscing about the Wars and doing whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.  
  
We'd talked about returning to school and possibly going on to college as well. Our supply of money would easily cover the expense. He and I were both very good at hacking. Currently, however, all four of the ex- Pilots residing on L-4 were at loose ends, although Quatre was getting involved in Winner Corp. No decisions as to what our next step was going to be had been made, though.  
  
This sudden reappearance of Wu Fei would only make things more confused. I was with Duo, and he was with me, but would he want to stay that way if he knew Wu Fei held feelings for him? Would Wu Fei pursue Duo now that he'd shown back up? If he did, I didn't know if I would kill him, or simply stand aside. Though I no longer held all the downsides of being the once Perfect Soldier, I was still unsure sometimes where I stood with Duo and our relationship. We were all only sixteen and seventeen, after all. Could someone make a lifelong decision to be with another person at this age? I thought I had, but now I was thrown into confusion as Wu Fei's feelings began coming to light.  
  
I could only put my torrent of thoughts on hold, and corner Quatre today at lunch. I needed advice, and I needed to keep from losing the one person who held my old persona at bay. If I lost Duo, there would be no reason to continue this new track, this new Heero Yuy. I would become Relena's bodyguard, or at least a Preventor, and do my best to get killed. There was no debate in my mind that those were how the events would unfold. I could not live without him, once I'd had him. And as I admitted this to myself, I wondered if perhaps that didn't explain some of Wu Fei's behavior towards the end of the Wars, and the eight months following. He'd never had Duo at all. 


	2. Part Two

Shades of Gray  
  
Part Two  
  
By: The Firefaery  
  
NC-17: Sexual situations  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing  
  
****  
  
The car was silent as the three of us rode to the nearest Winner mansion. Heero was driving, I was in the front seat next to him, and Wu Fei rode silently in the back. The morning had been a quiet one, with Wu Fei on the balcony doing katas, Heero cleaning his gun at the kitchen table, and me glued to the TV, trying to pretend I didn't notice the rising tension in our small apartment. Around ten, Wu Fei had gone to check out of his hotel and grab his things, coming back toward eleven. And low and behold, under one arm was his precious katana.  
  
He'd stowed his things in our guest room, coming out a little later to ask where the laundry was. After showing him, I mentioned it was about time to head over to Quatre and Trowa's for lunch. We'd piled into the car, and here we were, nobody speaking.  
  
I can't say I didn't feel guilty. I mean, come on, there I was, entertaining fantasies about both the guys in the car with me, one of whom I'd made a pretty much lifelong commitment to. The other one had no idea that I felt that way about him at all. And I was getting this vibe from Heero, almost like back in the Wars when he'd had his radar up for approaching enemies. I couldn't help but think he suspected not all was completely plutonic between me and Wu Fei, at least on my part. I really needed a second opinion on this. Quatre was gonna get an earful at lunch.  
  
We eventually pulled in the circular drive of the Winner Mansion where Quatre and his lover were staying at the moment. Heero turned off the car, and we sat in silence for a moment. Finally, the rising tension got to me, and I popped open my door.  
  
"Well come on, guys! I'm sure Q-man is dying to give Wu Fei a complete physical and make sure he's all right. Wouldn't want to keep the almighty blonde one waiting!" I slammed the door closed and winced, knowing Heero hated it when I did that. Shrugging, I began bouncing up to the large double doors that served for the front entrance. I could hear Wu Fei and Heero getting out behind me.  
  
Not wanting another chance for the tenseness to return, I hit the buzzer furiously, then knocked loudly on the door. This situation was going bad too quickly even for me. After I talked to Quatre, I needed to sit down with Heero and tell him what was up. Otherwise, I ran the risk of ruining what the two of us had together, and nothing in the world was worth that to me.  
  
A slightly flustered butler swung the door open, giving me a once-over.  
  
"The service entrance is in the back, sir," he murmured coolly, in a slightly nasal old British accent.. Oh yeah, this guy definitely had his knickers in a twist. Seeing an opportunity to relieve some pent-up frustration, I reached over and slapped the guy on the shoulder. His condescending expression changed to one of complete horror as he turned to look at his abused shoulder. Jerk probably thought I was carrying some disease, like commonness.  
  
"Hey, lighten up, man," I cracked, grinning a little too widely as Wu Fei and Heero stepped up behind me. "We're just here to see Quatre, that's all. Now be a good little stooge and show us in."  
  
"I am quite sure that Master Quatre has no time for - people - like you, *sir*," he nearly spit, stepping back and beginning to close the door. My back was up now. I could almost see my braid bristling behind me.  
  
"Oh no you don't, James my good man," I warned, stepping over the threshold and easily opening the door against his weak attempts to close it. I'd been a Gundam Pilot, for god's sake. "I can see the help around here has been slipping. We'll show ourselves in." I began to walk past him into the large house, not caring if Wu Fei and Heero were following me or not.  
  
The dumbass finally let go of the door and reached to grab my arm. I whirled and grabbed him by the collar. "I wouldn't try that if I were you, James," I said coldly. I was only a few inches taller than he was, but I easily lifted him up so that he was dangling with his toes barely brushing the floor. We were nose to nose, and I could feel Shinigami stirring in my eyes as I growled at him menacingly. The guy paled noticeably and started shaking. A hand on my shoulder made me tense and turn, to see Heero looking at me.  
  
"Put him down, Duo. Just let it go," he whispered, his hand tightening for a moment as I tightened my grip on the guy's collar and he squeaked. My breathing was ragged and heavy as I held the position. Wu Fei stepped up next to Heero, his eyes pleading with me.  
  
"Just put him down, Duo. Quatre would be upset if we damaged the help." A part of me knew they were right, I should just put him down, but somehow I'd gone into almost full battle mode. It was hard to break out of once I was in it. The guy had pissed me off and insulted me, along with the two young men trying to calm me down. Shinigami did not take well to insults of those he loved. 'Wait a sec, those he loved?' The shock of including Wu Fei in that statement broke me out of it and I released the guy without warning. He hit the floor with a soft thud and stumbled, catching himself on the door. I was too confused to notice, and still recovering from my reversion.  
  
"I.I think I need to.to sit down," I managed, before promptly doing just that, right there in the entryway. The hall was completely silent as I stared blankly into space, trying to work out just what the fuck happened.  
  
"What in the name of Allah is going on in here!" A high, almost feminine voice exclaimed, and I knew we were in for it. Or at least me, anyway. So that's when I decided to take a little nap.  
  
****  
  
I watched in shock as Duo lifted the butler up by his lapels and growled in his face. The look in those violet eyes was familiar to me, and I knew Shinigami had returned to remind us that Death still walked among us. Heero walked up cautiously and placed on a hand on Duo's shoulder. The cautious part surprised me; I didn't think the Perfect Soldier would have been afraid of Death.  
  
"Put him down, Duo. Just let it go," Heero whispered, his hand still on Duo's shoulder. It didn't look like his words were having any effect, and I didn't know what else to do, so I walked up behind Heero and met Duo's eyes, begging him silently to listen.  
  
"Just put him down, Duo. Quatre would be upset if we damaged the help." It was a mild joke, but I had hoped it would snap him out of his reversion to Shinigami and the Wars. For a moment, I thought we were going to be picking up pieces of the jerk for days, but suddenly Duo paled and dropped him, a lost look on his face.  
  
"I.I think I need to.to sit down," he choked out, and fell to the floor. He sat there, unmoving for a moment, before our host made his entrance.  
  
"What in the name of Allah is going on in here!" Quatre cried, a flustered look on his almost cherubic face. It always amazed me that he didn't take up a relationship with Trowa until the middle of the Wars, as openly gay as he was. Duo took the distraction to calmly pass out at our feet, returning the favor I'd given him yesterday.  
  
"M-Master Quatre, these.these people! Just barged right in, and he!" The harassed butler pointed a shaking finger at the unconscious Duo. "He attacked me!" His voice broke on the last word, squeaking sharply. Quatre looked from Heero, to me, to the motionless figure on the floor, and somehow came up with the right conclusion.  
  
"James, go lie down for a while or something. I will take care of this," Quatre soothed, stepping forward and placing a gentle hand on the man's shaking arm. He visibly relaxed, and after a moment, bowed and left quickly. As an amusing side note, his name really was James. "Now tell me what happened, although I have some idea," the short blonde said gently, kneeling down to examine the former Pilot of Deathscythe.  
  
"I take it that butler is new, otherwise this would have never happened," Heero murmured, kneeling down next to Quatre. At the other boy's nod, he continued. "He would not allow us entry, and advised us to use the service door in the back. His tone was very degrading, and he made similar negative comments about Wu Fei and I. Duo made to push past him into the house, and the butler went grab his arm. It set off old reflexes, and Duo reverted to Shinigami for a moment." At this, Quatre paled and his lips formed a grim line. "Wu Fei and I managed to snap him out of it before real damage was done, and he passed out just as you arrived." During the explanation, Quatre was feeling Duo's forehead, pulse points, and prying his eyes open to check for dilation.  
  
"It's a good thing you did, or this could have turned out much worse. He's just unconscious, no real damage down. We can put him in one of the guest rooms to sleep it off. Can one of you lift him? Trowa is waiting for us in the dining room, someone needs to go tell him what's happened," he added, looking at both of us.  
  
"As I have not been here before, I think it would be best if Heero went in search of Trowa," I finally murmured, not looking at the ex-Pilot in question. Quatre nodded and motioned for me to lift Duo. As I stepped forward, Heero stood up and promptly left without saying a word, Quatre casting a worried glance towards his retreating back. I knelt down and positioned my arms under the limp body on the floor, then stood and lifted him with me, grateful that my months of drinking and somewhat lax training hadn't affected my performance too badly. He wasn't really that heavy at all. "Lead the way." I motioned with my head, and Quatre stood and began walking towards a staircase set back from the main hall.  
  
"It's good to see you again, Wu Fei. We've missed your presence since the Wars," Quatre said gently, turning to glance at me as we walked. I kept my face carefully blank. "I think Duo has most of all." I stumbled slightly, but managed to keep my balance with the figure in my arms. It was an almost comforting weight. At least this time around, he wasn't bleeding from any major arteries. If only I could find myself in this position more often.  
  
Grunting, I continued walking. "It is good to see all of you as well. I am staying with Duo and Heero at the moment, and I think I shall be here for an extended time," I added, turning as Quatre led me down a dim hallway, into one of the many wings of the mansion. He stopped at a nondescript door and opened it, peering in for a moment.  
  
"That's good, the five of us can get together more often now," he finally commented, motioning me inside. It was a basic plain room, although on Winner estates, plain had a slightly different definition. There was a large four-poster bed against one wall, along with an ornate oak dresser, table and chairs, and two doors against the opposite wall. One I assumed was the closest, the other a private bathroom. "Just lay him on the bed, I'll get his shoes."  
  
I did as he said, gently laying Duo down on the right side of the large bed, positioning his limbs in more comfortable ways. While Quatre was busy with Duo's many-laced boots, I tenderly brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face. He looked so peaceful this way, none of the inherent violence of his War persona showing through. He looked even younger than his seventeen years.  
  
I stepped back from the bed, not wanting to give any more of myself away to Quatre. He seemed not to have noticed, pulling the last boot off gently and setting it next to the other one on the floor by the bed.  
  
"He should be all right, just slightly guilty when he wakes up," the ex- Pilot of Sandrock murmured softly, sliding the pillows more comfortably under Duo's head.  
  
"Does this happen often?" I asked finally, wondering how much I'd missed in my absence. Quatre shrugged slightly.  
  
"To all of us, at one point or another." He looked me in the eye. "We all have memories and feelings left over from the Wars. Sometimes we can't help but express them in ways we usually wouldn't otherwise. Today was actually a mild case. A few months ago, Heero pulled his gun on an old lady at a shopping center when she unexpectedly bumped into him." He chuckled, shaking his head ruefully. "What he was doing with a gun at a strip mall I'll never know. Just Heero, I suppose," he conceded, smiling at me. I felt one tug at my lips, a vision of the Perfect Soldier holding a gun on somebody's Granny coming to mind.  
  
"Do you think all of us will ever be happy?" It was said softly, almost a plea to tell me yes, we'd all be fine any time now. We would all get what we wanted. But I would know it for a lie, because what I wanted, I'd foolishly let pass me by.  
  
"I can't honestly answer that, Wu Fei. It's too complicated a question. Nobody is ever happy all the time, but I can hope that we'll all at least be content someday." He sighed and began walking out after a last glance at the sleeping Duo. "People like us, who've seen what we've seen, done what we've done, will always find it hard to be happy. I guess in some ways, it just takes the right person." With that, he opened the door and left. I hurried after him, not wanting to be lost in the maze of the large house.  
  
****  
  
Hearing hurried footsteps behind me, I knew Wu Fei had caught up with me. I frowned slightly, some part of me well aware of the storm that was possibly brewing between three of my closest friends. I'd had a slight suspicion about Wu Fei's feeling ever since Duo's major accident just before the Wars ended. He'd reacted so drastically, though it wouldn't have been completely apparent to a casual bystander. Just as Heero had almost put his fist through a wall, so Wu Fei had done quite a lot of damage to the surrounding foliage around the safehouse with furious katas practiced with his unsheathed blade. Something none of us had ever known him to do before.  
  
When he disappeared after the last battle, at first I assumed he was merely avoiding the media and government agencies interested in the five of us. But after months and more months passed, I couldn't help but think that in reality he was avoiding us. Or more specifically, one of us. I wasn't sure of Duo's feelings towards Wu Fei, but I knew beyond any doubt that he was in love with Heero. And of course, Heero loved him as well.  
  
Nobody has a perfect relationship, it's true, but Heero and Duo's sometimes seemed close to it. They never fought about petty things as other couples did; it was always disagreements over real issues, like how they would continue their futures. And it wasn't long before a compromise would be reached, at least for the moment.  
  
If, however, Dou did have feelings for Wu Fei, then all three of them were in for a world of hurt if their love-triangle couldn't be settled. And it wasn't fair to any of them, but it couldn't be helped, either. Emotions were not something you could readily control, especially not love. It was easy to understand now why Wu Fei had left after the Wars.  
  
There was only one solution I could see to all this, but it would take a great deal of cooperation and understanding on Heero's part.  
  
With that thought hanging in the air, we finally reached the private dining room. Heero and Trowa were sitting in complete but comfortable silence, Heero standing as soon as Wu Fei and I entered. I motioned for him to sit as I spoke.  
  
"Duo is fine, just resting comfortably. I'm sure he'll wake on his own in a little while," I explained, going to sit on the arm of Trowa's chair. A slender arm wrapped itself around my waist as I spoke, and a smile crossed my face. Living with my lover these few months after the Wars had been a joy I couldn't really describe.  
  
"I'm sure he wouldn't mind if we started without him," Trowa murmured, his fingers lazily brushing against my side. I shifted slightly, trying not to giggle as his touch tickled me. I placed a hand over his wandering fingers and gave him a look. He only smiled. Wu Fei stood by the door, looking almost uncomfortable.  
  
"Come in and sit down, Wu Fei. I want to hear what you've been up to since we last saw you," I called, waving vaguely to one of the chairs positioned around the table. After a moment's hesitation, he pushed away from the doorway and walked over to a chair one over from where Trowa and I sat. I got up and sat down in the empty one between him and Trowa.  
  
"I've just been wandering, I suppose," Wu Fei finally said, not looking directly at the three of us. "I've been on Earth for the most part, I just arrived on L-4 recently," he added, his arms crossing over his chest. I could almost have sworn his hands were shaking slightly. "Could I have a glass of water, Quatre?"  
  
"Of course, how thoughtless of me. Would anyone else like anything?" I asked, standing and walking over to a beverage cart set against the wall behind us.  
  
"No thank you," Heero murmured, his arms also crossed over his chest and that crazy mop of hair covering his eyes. After a pause, Trowa also shook his head. Shrugging, I poured a glass of ice water for Wu Fei, and then one for myself. Walking back, I set Wu Fei's in front of him, then sat back down with mine. He reached forward, and I couldn't deny now that his hand was shaking. He gripped the glass tightly and brought it to his mouth, taking a large gulp.  
  
"Thank you," he whispered, setting the glass back down. I nodded in reply. Something was definitely not right here.  
  
"I guess Trowa and I will start," I finally exclaimed, trying to brush off my misgivings. "We headed up here to L-4 after getting away from all those pesky meetings and inquiries and media fanatics trying to get pictures of us. Duo and Heero decided to follow us and the four of us have been more or less hiding out for a while. My sisters, though, seem determined to get me into the business," I added, smirking. "We haven't really been in contact with any of the others from the Wars, although I believe Miss Relena has been trying to get a hold of Heero for a few months now." I winked at the disgruntled looking boy sitting across from me.  
  
"Catherine sends me occasional e-mails, updating us on the circus and its movements," Trowa added, shifting to prop his head up on his right hand. He was just so cute sometimes! I was still trying to get him to cut his hair, but I didn't know if that particular battle would ever be over.  
  
"Relena has been trying to contact me," Heero admitted, looking uncomfortable. "I finally had to change my e-mail address because she kept filling up my inbox." We all chuckled softly, feeling sympathy for the hunted man. Relena Peacecraft, or Darlian as she had taken to calling herself again, was still adamantly declaring undying love for Heero, even though his relationship with Duo had been far from hidden. The girl just couldn't get it through her head.  
  
Wu Fei took another sip from his glass. "I get some correspondence from Sally Po, now and again. She's the on-call doctor for Lady Une's new Preventors detail." He looked towards Trowa and I. "Did you four also receive offers to join the force?"  
  
Looking to Trowa for a moment, I answered. "We did, but Trowa and I felt that we had done enough fighting for two lifetimes, so we declined. Maybe some day, if either of us feel the need, we'll look into it again," I amended, feeling my lover slide his left hand into my right one.  
  
It hadn't taken Trowa long to realize that I would never be willing to go into battle again, unless there was dire need for the old Gundam Pilots. Being the Peacemaker, or Master Strategist as some still called me, had left scars on my soul that would never fade, or even heal in some cases. He had been more than willing to go along with my decision. I knew, though, that if I hadn't been in the picture, he would have immediately accepted. Perhaps when we were older, more sure of ourselves, Trowa would feel the need to inquire about the position Lady Une had promised would always be open.  
  
"Duo and I also declined," ex-Pilot of Wing added, saying no more. Trowa and I, at least, knew of the heated debate that had gone on between the two over the Preventors positions, and even the bodyguard position Miss Relena had offered.  
  
"I was offered one as well, but I have yet to decline or accept," came the soft confession. I blinked for a moment.  
  
"But we were offered those just a couple months after the Wars. And you still haven't decided?" I asked in surprise, turning to look at Wu Fei. He shrugged, not meeting my eyes.  
  
"No, I have not. It was not a decision I felt I could make quickly, and Sally is trying to talk me into it as well. I believe she's even asked Noin to confer with me," the Chinese man forced out, his tone almost daring me to comment further. I decided to switch the topic.  
  
"Well, umm.Heero, have you and Duo decided to go back to school yet or not?" I chirped, the tension so thick in the room for a moment, you could almost cut it with a knife.  
  
"Nah, Q-man, we're still thinkin' about it," a voice cut in, as a cheery Duo stepped into the room. "Sorry about that whole scene at the front door, didn't mean to scare that jerk.I mean, your poor butler," he quipped, walking over to Heero's chair and placing a light kiss on his cheek. The once Perfect Soldier looked almost bemused for a moment, then shook his head slightly and smiled up at his braided lover.  
  
"Oh, don't worry about it, Duo. James is still quite new, and must either learn the workings of a Winner Estate, or leave," I soothed, watching in bewilderment as Duo cracked up suddenly.  
  
"Ya mean, that guy's name really is James!" he whooped, clutching the back of Heero's chair as he doubled up with laughter. Next to me, Wu Fei also chuckled. "Oh man, what a kicker," he managed, collapsing into the seat next to Heero, who's arm somehow slipped around Duo's waist.  
  
Wu Fei smirked. "I knew that coffee this morning wasn't a good idea, baka," he called across to Duo, and was rewarded with a raspberry blown in his direction.  
  
"Hey, lighten up, Wu-man. Come on, the five of us are together for the first time in eight months! Laugh a little," he jabbed, grinning broadly as Wu Fei's eye twitched slightly.  
  
"The name is Wu Fei! I can't believe I forgot my katana!" he cried, searching around for a moment before realizing he hadn't brought it. The look on Duo's face as Wu Fei searched for that dreaded weapon was priceless. "I think it's in my room back at the apartment.remind me to get it when we return," Wu Fei mock-growled, giving Duo a stern look.  
  
"Some things never change," Trowa murmured, smiling gently as the two Pilots continued bickering. I watched as Heero's face clouded over, his eyes darting between the two and back again. Standing up and squeezing my lover's shoulder, I whispered softly.  
  
"And some things do."  
  
****  
  
The five of us were sprawled across lawn chairs in the back yard, the false sun of the colony slowly fading above us. Heero and Trowa were engrossed in a life or death chess match on one of the tables, while Wu Fei watched silently and waited to play the winner. Speaking of Winner..  
  
"Quatre, can I talk to ya for a moment?" I asked quietly, warning the smaller boy with my eyes not to say anything. He nodded and motioned me inside, and I readily followed.  
  
'Okay, Maxwell, this is it..'  
  
We walked back into the private dining room from earlier and sat down in two chairs facing each other. "What did you want to talk about, Duo?" he asked just as quietly, his face serious and concerned.  
  
I shrugged uncomfortably, not sure of my wording. "It's..It's about Wu Fei," I finally managed. He blinked for a moment, then nodded. "This is really hard for me to admit, ya know.but I needed to talk to someone, and you're the only person I could think of," I added hastily, trying in some way to delay the inevitable admission I was about to make.  
  
"Duo, you can tell me. I promise I'll keep it confidential, and I'll help you anyway I can," he murmured, leaning forward to place a hand on my knee. I sighed and nodded.  
  
"Well, the thing is, I love Heero. I really, honestly do. Scouts' honor," I joked weakly, holding up two fingers in the traditional salute. The blonde across from me smiled. Shaking my head and reaching back to grab the end of my braid, I fidgeted for a moment. "Is it possible to be in love with two people at once?" I finally spit out, clutching my braid in a death grip. He sighed heavily and looked away, towards the end of the house where the other three were engrossed in their game.  
  
"I've never experienced it personally, Duo, but yes, I believe it is possible. What are you trying to tell me?"  
  
"I think I'm in love with Heero.and Wu Fei," I whispered brokenly, putting the hand not holding my braid over my face. A gentle, comforting hand rested lightly on my shoulder.  
  
"Have you talked to Heero about this?" I shook my head, unsure of my current ability to speak. It was just too much, too confusing and complicated.  
  
"What the fuck is wrong with me?!" Suddenly feeling the need to move, I jumped up and began pacing. "What kind of idiot would put what I have with Heero at risk by suddenly discovering feelings for another guy? And Wu Fei, for Christ's sake! What the hell is going on?" I paced back and forth in between Quatre and my empty chair.  
  
Quatre looked slightly unsure, but spoke anyway. "Are you telling me these feelings have just surfaced since last night when Wu Fei came back?" he asked in a disbelieving tone. Groaning loudly, I flopped back into my chair.  
  
"No, not exactly. I mean, during the Wars I felt some of this, too. But I always assumed Wu Fei was straight. I mean come one, the guy was married at one point," I pointed out, running a frustrated hand through my bangs.  
  
"That was an arranged marriage, and Meilan never did bear an heir." Damn Quatre and his sneaky..intelligent mind!  
  
"I guess that's true. But he never showed any signs of swinging my way, so I did my best to fall head over heels in love with Heero." Smiling softly for a moment. "I did a pretty good job, too. And I mean, after that huge fiasco with that bad mission and all, Heero and I got together and it wasn't an issue anymore. Or so I thought. Wu Fei disappeared after the Wars ended, and even in some ways was never all there during the last couple months of the fighting," I murmured, worry creasing my forehead. His behavior had changed after Heero and I got together.could that mean he felt something also?  
  
'Get real, Maxwell. That's just crazy talk.'  
  
"But then, he showed back up, right? And it all came to the surface again," Quatre prodded, watching me closely. I wondered if his space heart had kicked into overdrive, or if he was just being creepy.  
  
"Yeah. And somehow it's turned from just attraction and a lot of liking, into something that's damn similar to what I feel towards 'Ro." Sighing, I leaned my head back against the chair and stared at the ceiling.  
  
Quatre tried to lighten the mood. "Well, they say absence makes the heart grow fonder." I gave him my best glare. "Sorry. Obviously I'm the first one you've talked to about this, so I think you really need to talk to Heero next." I nodded, that truth had never wavered. This was too big for me to hide from him, and I wouldn't want to anyway. "And then.I think you need to tell Wu Fei." Squeaking in surprise, I looked at him.  
  
"Why the hell would I do that!" Quatre held up his hands and waited for me to quiet down.  
  
"It's just a suggestion, Duo. But I think Wu Fei deserves to know. You may have assumed too much about him since you've met him," he added, standing up and walking towards the door. And on that cryptic note we ended our conversation and went back to join the guys.  
  
'Damn.this is gonna suck ass,' I thought dejectedly, planning on discussing this with Heero when we got home. The three chess players had switched places, Trowa and Wu Fei now facing off. I don't think any of them even noticed we'd left. Heero looked up as I sat down and smiled at me, his dark blue eyes filled with warmth. He'd changed so much since the Wars, it was like he'd become a completely new person. We still had moments where he'd freeze up in bed, or in an unfamiliar place that he was unsure about. But compared to the Perfect Soldier, and now, it was completely different. And I was close to ruining it.  
  
****  
  
I looked up from the chess game Trowa, Wu Fei, and I were engaged in, and caught Duo's eyes. Those violet orbs were filled with love and something else, some wary emotion that made me worried. I watched Quatre putter around, pouring more lemonade for everybody and shaking his head fondly as Trowa and Wu Fei battled silently on. I decided now was the time to corner him and talk about what I suspected.  
  
I stood up and walked over to where the blonde was leaning against an empty chair, motioning with my head for him to follow me inside. I didn't catch the roll of his eyes as he walked in after me. I made a straight line towards the dining room from earlier in the afternoon, not a single word spoken between us. Spying a pair of chairs facing each other across the room, I walked towards them and sat down in one, motioning for Quatre to sit in the other. After silence reigned for a few moments, I gave him a look that said, 'Get on with it'.  
  
"Did you want to talk about something, Heero?" he finally submitted, his eyes locked with mine. I grunted and tried to form into words what I was thinking.  
  
Finally, I managed some form of it. "Duo has been acting strange since Wu Fei returned. I don't know what it means," I admitted, breaking eye contact with the intent blonde. He groaned softly and ran a casual hand through his hair, turning and looking at me out of the corner of his eye.  
  
"That isn't really something I can help you with," the Winner heir pointed out, staring at the wall behind me. "Surely there must be something more to what you're thinking, or you wouldn't have brought it up." I reluctantly admitted that I would have to reveal more of my thoughts to him.  
  
"I believe there are some.feelings.between them. What sort, I am not fully sure of." My voice was low and almost harsh, and Quatre turned to look me in the eyes again. "Duo has never told me about any relations he had with Wu Fei in the Wars, other than what is common knowledge of the group. I can not assume that this is a past relationship coming to light, so it must be something recently developed," I added roughly, glaring at him.  
  
"Or something left from the Wars, but that never came to light *then*?" Quatre astutely guessed, raising a delicate pale eyebrow at me. I hadn't considered that. Had Duo felt something for Wu Fei back before the two of us ever became a couple? I had never seen him make open advances at the Chinese Pilot, but then, he never made many to me, either.  
  
"That is a valid point." I didn't know where this conversation was supposed to be leading, but I didn't think this was it.  
  
"What will you do if Duo does admit that he has feelings for Wu Fei?" It was a question I didn't, or couldn't, currently answer, not without more thought, so I shrugged. The point was for the moment moot, anyway, as Duo hadn't come forward with these feelings. I already assumed Wu Fei felt something, possibly love, for Duo, because of his past and present actions and attitudes around him.  
  
"I don't know, Quatre," I murmured, looking away. A moment of silence reigned, then he spoke again.  
  
"What do you feel towards Wu Fei, Heero? Besides respect, admiration, that sort of thing," he added, and I turned to look into those baby blues in shock. What did I feel? What the hell was he talking about?! The expression on my face must have given me away, because he smiled slightly and shook his head. "I have a suggestion, and you have only to take it as such, if Duo and Wu Fei really do love each other." Wary, I nodded for him to continue. "I know Duo wouldn't be willing to throw away what you two have for Wu Fei, even though he possibly loves him like he loves you. My suggestion, Heero, is to not make him choose. You could possibly consider an arrangement that would suit you all." He was dancing around whatever he was trying to suggest, and it was getting annoying.  
  
"Quatre, please just say what you're thinking before we're here all evening," I said blandly, raising an eyebrow of my own.  
  
Looking sheepish, he spit it out. "A threesome. A menage a trios, if you'll pardon my French," he added, chuckling somewhat at his own joke. If that was his idea of a joke. Sitting there in stunned thought, I had no idea what to make of his suggestion. A three way? Between Duo, Wu Fei, and I?  
  
I could mentally register that Wu Fei was an attractive male, and he had many decent qualities about him that would make him a good companion. I had never specifically found myself attracted to him, as most of my attention had been focused on Duo, but I couldn't say that I never would, given the opportunity. It was just something I'd never considered before. But if what I suspected was true, it would take a lot of thought before I put it forth to Duo. Let alone Wu Fei.  
  
Was it possible, though? Could I share Duo with another person? After a moment of thought, I came to an answer.  
  
If it meant his happiness, I would learn. 


End file.
